|
Action ballet (or UUGGGHHH)
By Lesley, assistant cook. 15 April. Hi folks. Well, I
know I've used that title before - but it wasn't for how
I'm feeling now. I feel like I've had a tractor drive over
me for five hours!
OK, so let's back up a bit. First, guess where I am? In
Holland. In Vlissingen actually. Yesterday the Warrior met
up with the Esperanza (our new ship) and we performed action
ballet together in front of the latest naughty log ship
(from the Amazon this time). Wow - it was beautiful and
scary.
First the climbing team on the Esperanza tries to board
the log ship. They get squirted off with five fire hoses.
They leave a bit soggy. Meanwhile, the Warrior is charging
into the harbour ahead of the log ship. About 10 kilometers
out, we launch all our inflatables. This is because if the
police arrest the Warrior, at least the action crew is in
the water for later daring does. We are all charging towards
the harbour. I'm in Piglet (inflatable) with Bernard (the
best boat driver in the world), Tim, our forest campaigner,
two French video makers and 'an other' (I think she is from
the Dutch office). So, we are packed into the inflatable,
and the guy with the camera and Tim have got the best seats
(after Bernard). There is only one place I can go and that
is in the nose of the inflatable. Now, everybody who has
ever been in an inflatable knows that the nose is the worst
place to be in the world. Especially for a bumpy, fast,
wet ride.
I hold on. I wedge my legs down in the inflatable and remember
to keep my body as close to the hull as possible and as
flexible as possible. It doesn't work very well. I am being
slaughtered by normal waves, waves from our other inflatables,
then waves from police boats, tug boats and the coast guard.
Slap, slam, bonk, groan. Slap, slam, bonk, groan.
I think you get the picture.
So, first we are racing towards the harbour, then we turn
around and race back out to three large looking ships, one
of which must be the log ship. There is a lot of confusion.
Then we are next to the log ship and Janine and Chris in
the other inflatable are busy trying to climb up the side
of the log ship, under fire from hoses all the while.
More inflatables appear. These are from the Esperanza.
The guys on the logship must have been surprised. I was.
Suddenly there are ten inflatables swarming around. They
are steaming into the harbour. Tug boats and pilot boats
are trying to get close to grab ropes and put the pilot
on. Bernard is holding steady and trying to be in the best
position for our French film team. I'm holding on, getting
soaking and crushed.
Then things speed up. As we go into the harbour, the Esperanza
climbing team is up on the log ship and they have their
first banner up. The Warrior is between the log ship and
the dock. Infatables are in between the Warrior and the
log ship. Canoes are in between the inflatables and the
log ship. Total chaos.
And just when you think you can't cope anymore…
The tug boat gets a rope up to the Balaban, but just as
it goes up, our very own Russian, Dimitri, jumps out of
his canoe and grabs the rope. He goes up with it. Really
fast. As the rope goes up really fast, it catches the inflatable
with Karl in it. The rope wraps around the engine and Karl
and the inflatable go up with the rope!!!!!
Have you ever seen an inflatable fly???
The rope pulls the engine off and Karl and the boat hit
the water. Oh my god. The French crew are filming all this
and I am screaming.
One of our inflatable crew pulls Karl out of the water
and the other goes after the boat, which has lost its engine
cover.
Now we all wait. We all stare at Dmitri wrapped around
the rope. How long can he hang on? The tug captain is furious.
One of our action team members boards the tugboat to try
and calm him down and sort out the Dmitri situation. No
chance. If there were not 20 cameras filming all this and
we weren't surrounded by police, our action bloke would
have been beaten to a pulp (I know how he feels).
So, Dmitri, bless him, hangs on and hangs on but gravity
prevails. Down he falls. We have it all on film. He is picked
up and we are all laughing and shaking our heads at our
crazy Russian. And do you know what he does? He jumps back
into his canoe, like nothing has happened, grabs his paddle
and off he goes again!!
So, eventually, after top level negotiations, we let the
log ship go back out of the harbour and moor up at some
big yellow buoys. Then we follow it with the Warrior and
moor up next to it!!!
By now my feet are so cold and wet, they hurt more than
the rest of my shattered body. But we still have a job to
do. We must take the French video crew to the Esperanza
so they can copy the fantastic footage and send it out.
So while all the other inflatables are back on the Warrior
and the crew are enjoying a well earned beer and laughing
at Dmitri, me and Bernard (yes, you guessed it, the best
boat driver in the world) are hanging around between the
Warrior and the Esperanza, just waiting and waiting. In
the end, my feet get the better of me and I demand to be
thrown back on the Warrior. Bernard (for once) agrees with
me and off I go.
Totally knackered, totally shattered, totally unbelieving
all that I have just seen. I could only manage half a bottle
of wine before I fell asleep at the mess table listening
to Steve playing the guitar.
Today, we wait. More plans, more talking and, luckily,
just a normal day in the galley for me. Might even make
a cake or two.
Les
Go back to the main page.
|
